it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize