it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
