alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
