i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
