Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize