i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
