Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize