I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize