How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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