you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
