how can u be prego again
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
