just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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