If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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