Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
