is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
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