Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
