My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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