Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
How does one acquire holy water?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
