i permit you to call me
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
