im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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