Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
