Hey man sorry I got all grabby
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
BRING THE BAGELS
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize