Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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