sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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