When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
only you would photoshop your dick
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
