your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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