Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
