If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
She told me I should be a condom model.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
