I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
