I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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