glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
