She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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