if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
