I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize