Sry I called you an 8
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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