so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
