so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
