hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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