i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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