I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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