Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize