I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
