i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
