He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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