I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
