She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize