he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
