Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize