covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
time to smoke my breakfast
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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