next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
