well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
