too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
