Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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