conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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