I want to walk on stilts...naked
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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