You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
