I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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