No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I just blew my weed a kiss
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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