fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
