i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize