..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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