We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize